Saturday, February 23, 2008

what's a mom to do!

Dear mom’s It’s a lonely job to raise children in this generation. Let me share with you how I made it work for me. I was alone a lot of the time with my five kiddos. You look inside yourself for anything that makes it easier.
I find that the Delights of the day are very important. What is a Delight of the day? Something happens that touches us and brings on these delights. It’s those moments when we feel so happy to be just where we are. But we aren’t a lot of the time, we get bogged down. Not enough sleep, the maid doesn’t come, the cook has no ideas. Oh to be rescued! You can rescue yourself with a little planning. At a moment when you don’t feel beat and discouraged make a plan. One little thing can take a day and lift it out of the mundane. Plan those moments now. You need a collection of little things that lift you out of a mood, a loneliness a bordom, a disaster. You need to know that it is there, that one little starter for the Delight of the day. What is it you ask? Let’s explore that.
What makes you happy? If you are lifted up the household comes with you most times and once they are happy you will feel better, longer. Does a great song lift your spirits? Keep that song or cd of songs near by. Pop it in when the need is there. Dance around, laugh even if you don’t feel like it. Never just suffer through a day. Even the worse day can be brought into a more comfortable zone. It may not be perfect, I just said “more comfortable”. Does being outside lift your spirits? Put a sticky note somewhere that says “when unhappy go outside for relief” Put a chair outside and call it the relief chair. Grab your little ones and tell them you are all going to the relief chair. It’s not always easy to remember these hints on those long boring days. Perhaps an adventure is what is needed. Keep a phone list of people with kids. A quick call, “meet at the park everyone bring something red or something square, or something wet! See you at 2pm”, will make the anticipation and the adventure change a day from it’s lonely place.
That brings me to people, you need people in your life! We no longer chat with our neighbors as we hang out the laundry. I learned my alphabet in the dirt under our clothes line as my mom talked with the women of the neighborhood. We need those moments with other women. Hunt them down. Some of my daughters take their little ones to story time at the library. Perfect way to meet other moms. My daughter-in-law has a group of three little boys who meet to do fun things. Remember to a child just something out of the ordinary is a fun thing. Don’t be shy about calling other women to do things. All they can do is say no but what really might happen is they will have been wishing for something to rescue them also.
Once you have a collection of ideas, music, toys that only come out for emergencies etc. You have to have a way to remind yourself to use them. Sticky notes, a list you post, refrigerator notes? What will remind you to use these ideas? I have a lot more ideas and will post them here from time to time but you can add to this blog. Help one another out. What little thing lifts you? If I could I’d give each of you a phone call each day and remind you to enjoy life more. What would I tell you to do? Make a lunch treat, go on a picnic, a walk around the block? I just finished reading the book ‘Eat cake.’ The main character felt better if she made a cake to lift her day. She had teens and her mom moved in and her husband lost his job, and her estranged father moved in and that family had cake every day, every meal!


Christine said...

Thanks Fonell, this is just what I needed!

Eden said...

I let myself get so caught up with and worn out with just doing things each day that I definitely needed these suggestions. Going outside in the sunshine is my cheering tool, but too often I forget. I need to set up my 'relief chair' and a note to remind me.